Why is it challenging for guys to report their domestic violence assault?

The issue of male victims and reports of violent crimes exists. Domestic violence is 7 to 14 times more likely to women than by men. Gender preconceptions for men and women are to blame for this underreporting. In American culture, male dominance, prowess, and strength are important. Domestic violence victimisation does not fit this stereotype. Men are seen to be stronger than women according to gender norms. Many of them decide not to report the incident because they think they can handle it. The discussion of domestic violence often centres on the experiences of female victims. Men are not seen to be the Victims.

Domestic violence effects on men

The repercussions of domestic violence on men are like those on females. Drug and alcohol usage, greater suicide rates, and depressive episodes are the cause of it. Men may also experience physical harm from intimate partners. Men are also affected.

Victims should also seek help and leave the abuser. 

A domestic violence defence lawyer can help them sue the assaulter.He can explain how a restraining order can help in this case. This paper can aid in the removal of an abuser from the home. It may also order him or her to refrain from going to the victim’s workplace. It could order the alleged abuser to surrender all firearms. It may also order temporary custody and visitation for any children shared by the alleged abuser and victim.

Men who experienced domestic violence as children may not react the same way as men who experienced sexual assault as adults. Here are some of the experiences that men and boys who have suffered domestic Violence have in common:

  • flashbacks, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression 
  • avoiding those who or things that make you think about the abuse or assault 
  • inquiries or concerns on sexual orientation 
  • Fear of the worse coming and a sensation that time is running out 
  • A sense of being “less of a man” or losing control over one’s own body 
  • being on edge, unable to unwind, and having trouble sleeping 
  • feeling of guilt or shame for being powerless to stop the abuse.
  • withdrawal from connections or relationships and a greater sense of loneliness 
  • Concerned about sharing for fear of criticism or unbelief

The reality of men going through domestic violence is denied in society. Most of us never hear about male domestic violence. That is except for the occasional awful prison joke. The urge to deny that domestic Violence occurs comes from the misconception that men are immune to victimization. And that, if they are a “true guy,” they should be able to repel any aggressor. Men can’t be forced into sex, according to a notion that is roughly related: either they want it or they don’t.

Many guys are able to feel secure and untouchable because of these false notions. They also feel that sexual assault only affects women. These ideas might make it worse for a male sexual assault survivor to feel pain. The male survivor is left feeling alone, humiliated, and “less of a man” as a result of these views.

It makes sense why so few guys who experience sexual assault actually seek help. Only 5% to 20% of sexual assault victims actually come forward to report the incident. This number is much lower for male victims. Victims suffer in silence due to feelings of guilt, and self-blame.

The following are some issues and worries that male survivors may have:

  • The concept of being a victim is difficult for most guys to handle. We’re taught that a man should be able to defend himself against any odds. Also that he should be prepared to take serious physical danger to preserve his honor and dignity. How many shows have you watched where the “manly” hero is willing to battle a bunch of big guys over a slight or some slurs? Surely, something like unwanted sexual advances calls for a death match…right? These ingrained notions of “masculinity” cause male victims to experience guilt and shame.
  • Many male survivors may even wonder if they desired or deserved to be sexually attacked. Male survivors feel ashamed of themselves for not “fighting back.”. Although the thoughts are normal, they are not true. Remind yourself that doing what appeared necessary at the time to survive was not in any way unmasculine.
  • Some male victims punish themselves by engaging in self-destructive conduct out of guilt. Many guys interpret this in increased drug or alcohol use. Others interpret it in more aggressive behavior. Many guys distance themselves from relationships and end up feeling alone. It is understandable why male sexual assault survivors are likely to experience depression.
  • After experiencing sexual assault, many male survivors also experience 

sexual problems. Due to the possibility of sexual contact bringing up flashbacks. It could be challenging to begin new relationships because of this. Don’t push yourself to engage in sexual activity before you’re ready. 

  • Sexual assault almost always leaves heterosexual men with doubts about their sexual orientation. A heterosexual survivor can start to think that he must be gay.  He might also think that he will become gay because many people think that only gay men are sexually abused. Attackers claim that their victims took pleasure in the sexual assault.  And this causes some survivors to doubt their own experiences. Sexual assault actually has nothing to do with one’s sexual orientation. Sexual assault doesn’t make someone “gay”.  It just makes them more open to it.
  • Sexual abuse can cause gay men to feel guilty because of their sexuality. A lot of  gay men experience internal problems about their sexuality because of this. A gay guy who has experienced sexual assault can think that he “deserved it”.  He can also think that he was “paying the price” for his sexual orientation. The ignorance of others placing the responsibility on the victim by implying that a gay victim in some way initiated the assault will encourage this self-blame. Gay men may be reluctant to disclose a sexual assault out of concern for disbelief on the part of the staff. Gay men might not receive the crucial medical attention they need after the abuse.

As a result of fear, some male victims of sexual assault take the form of gay-bashing. Offenders could slander their victims. They also suggest that the victim deserved to be sexually abused. It’s critical to keep in mind that sexual assault is a form of control and violence, and nobody deserves it.

Remember you are not at fault even if:

  • The person who attacked you was a friend, spouse, date, or acquaintance. 
  • You’ve engaged in sexual activity with either that individual or others. 
  • You were either intoxicated or high. 
  • You became paralyzed, were unable to say “no,” or were unable to defend yourself.

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